This week’s video is about the use of the word no. It comes from Stan Bush’s and my Facebook Live show which is always on Wednesday’s at 12 noon EDT.
The truth is no one likes to say no to anyone about anything. Here’s the problem with that. If you aren’t saying no more than you’re saying yes, then you’re not spending time on things that are important and can move your bar forward.
Saying yes all of the time means that you’re working on someone elses agenda. Most of the time you want to work on your agenda and that often involves the word no. Watch this video and leave a comment below about what you think about using the word no more often in your life.
So we’re going to be talking about the power of. No, and I’ve got a couple of questions for you. Okay. All right. First of all, do you start with the word no. Like the insurance claims do or do you start with the word why I mean, what do you start with when you’re trying. Because I understand. That’s actually a really good question. No, I don’t start with the word. No. I start with the word why
I start with the phrase my. Isn’t that interesting
Isn’t that interesting And so what does that look like Well, that often will lead to no, because here’s the truth. If you’re not clear on what you want to do, you’re saying yes to everything and was something really good and important comes up. You don’t have the capacity or the time to say yes. So you end up saying yes, but you never get around to doing it.
I mean, too many of us are just way over committed in a may they be who are overcoming it to ourselves or overcoming to others. But when you get over committed because you, all you do is say yes is you actually end up looking like a fraud because you’re not getting things done when you say they’re going to get done and you might look like or fraud to others or you might look like or fraud to yourself. But the truth is when you keep saying yes to everything, you’re actually saying yes to nothing. Have you ever said something Have you ever said no to something and then figured out that was the wrong thing that you you shouldn’t have said no to Yeah. No, I actually use three buckets I use. Yes. Which I’d say rarely. I say no, which I say a lot, and then every once in a while I can’t decide.
I’ll say not yet. Now there are times where I might have said no to something because at that particular time it wasn’t the right thing to see or to do. In. Later I’ll go back and revisit and say, okay, now I have time to do that and I probably shouldn’t have said no in the first place. I probably shouldn’t show, said not yet, or somebody presents me with information that I didn’t have before, which will change my mind. So you’re not when, when, so, so once you’re going to have a conversation with someone, because I’m gonna, go back to the, to, to, to that thing that you don’t start with the word no. So you’re having a conversation with somebody about an activity because if you can’t do this on everything, it can’t be like, well, I mean I don’t, I can’t, I can’t do that on everything that I do.
Although there is some, some truth that, that, that is. But let’s say on a project, is it you start with that word, that question of why, but if it comes up six months later, the same question, let’s say a PSA, do you want to have that Do you want to, do you want to be an LLC And you go, why you come up with the answer No. What you’re saying is that you don’t close your mind to the word yes forever. Based off of that decision. You always go back to the question of why before you set to go to notes or somebody says, yes, you should be at Olc and here’s why. I will consider your reasons and see if it makes sense. So one, the one resource that we all have the same amount of his time in people who are highly successful versus those who are not as successful is really in many respects how you spend your time
And if I’m saying yes to a bunch of stuff that doesn’t lead me towards where I want to go in life because I’m saying yes to everything, that means I’m not able to say yes to the right thing. So I either don’t have the time to do it, the interest to do it or the capacity to do it if I’m saying no to most things that come across about people say I think you should. Let me give you an example. Uh, I’m a big fan of Don Miller in his, in his Storybrand stuff and don is the middle of a launch right now with one of his courses and I’m up to my eyeballs doing the tribe course with Stu Mclaren. And as much as I would like to participate in Don’s course, I’m either gonna have to drop what I’m doing with students course and go to Don’s course or buy Don’s course and waste my money and have a sit on the shelf.
So as much as I enjoyed don stopped by, I think it’s useful is not a higher priority than doing Stu Mclaren stuff. So I’m saying no to Storybrand today when I’m actually saying is not yet because it’s on my list. I don’t know if it’s ever going to rise to a high enough level where I want to commit the time to that class. I was in the vending business. I was the board chair for the nearest a vending association for several years and people would not show up to the meeting and I would often say, well, people vote with their feet and everyone in the room always would break up. And it’s hilarious. Laughter. I never could quite figure out why, but you can always tell what people value by how they spend their time. Yeah. And here’s where it really comes into play. In effect, if I’m saying yes to everything, I’m going to spend an awful lot of my time doing 10, 15, $20 per hour work and when I’m doing 10, 15, $20 per hour work, I know I’m not doing work that can pay me 500 or even $5,000 per hour. And every business owner in the world, um, spends way too much time doing tactical stuff, which typically has a high-end range of $40 per hour in almost no time doing strategic work, which has a high-end range of 5,000 or maybe $10,000 per hour. And we might even sometimes think strategically, but thinking strategically is not acting strategically. And because I’m saying yes to all the tactical stuff I do and not finding a way not to do that, I don’t have the time to act strategically in my business.